Sermon for June 1, 2014: Exploring Jerusalem Sunday and the Glory of God

The old city of Jerusalem is in many ways a magical place, a great crossroads of history, cultures, empires, nations and faiths. it is a city that dates back before King David, a thousand years before the birth of Christ. It has been a Cannanite city, a Jewish city, a Christian city and a Muslim city, and today it is in many ways all three. I had the great fortune of being there in 2005 on a pilgrimage from this diocese and I loved the place. For one thing of course, it is the city where Jesus walked, taught in the temple, healed people, ate the last supper, was arrested, died on the cross and where he rose again from the dead. Just being in that place is amazing. It is also a warren of shops and quarters with people from all over the world in one place. It is a place of unrest and tension as well as being a place of great peace. Jerusalem, more than any other city in the world, is the place where people have encountered the glory of God. And so I am glad that today we are talking about Jerusalem.

The reason I am talking about the Anglican church in Jerusalem is because the Anglican church of Canada has a special relationship with this community and has chosen this day as a day to educated ourselves a little bit about the church in Jerusalem, to pray for them and to support some of their ministries. As you know, the Anglican Church of Canada, of which St. Thomas is a member, is part of a family of churches throughout the world called the Anglican Communion. The Anglican Communion is made up of 39 national churches like the Anglican Church of Canada and there are about 80 million of us Anglicans. But the church in Jerusalem is special because these are the churches that are in the Holy Land, the land we call holy because it is where our Lord lived, taught, healed, died and rose again. And for centuries Christians have returned to this place again and again.

The diocese itself is small by Anglican standards, only about 30 churches, but they are spread over five different countries. While small they do tremendous ministry. The bishop of the diocese says that their main ministries are teaching and healing, the same ministries as our Lord Jesus did. So as part of their ministry the Diocese operates several hospitals, clinics and rehabilitation centres throughout the region. They also operate 13 schools in the area which are considered some of the best in the country. Another one of the big ministries that they have is welcoming pilgrims to the land by operating four pilgrim guesthouses throughout the region. The diocese has a number of problems owing to the fact that the Holy Land is a troubled region and that most Christians in the area are Palestinian Christians. But as the Bishop of the Diocese has said, Religion has to be part of the solution and so they do what they can by supporting the peace process in Israel, running their own peace and reconciliation ministries and doing interfaith work in the region. And so for a diocese with fewer parishes than the Diocese of Edmonton, they do a lot of work!

One of the aspects of this day is that the Diocese of Jerusalem has asked us to consider helping to support the work of one of their medical clinics in the northern West Bank called the Penman Clinic with a small one time donation, and if you are interested in doing that there is information in the bulletin. Here is the description they give to describe this ministry:

It is a rural clinic in the north of the West Bank and is associated with St. Matthew's parish. The area has a majority Christian population, but they serve all who comes providing the only medical treatment to the ton of Zebabdeh and more than 12 surrounding villages for very low fews.

As I have prepared this sermon meditating on Jerusalem, it was significant to me because I was also following the story of Pope Francis' trip to Jerusalem and the Holy Land. I am one who has loved the ministry of the pope because through so many of his words and gestures I think we see the vision and compassion of Jesus. In so many ways big and small Francis has invited us to see glimpses of a bigger reality called the Kingdom of God. He has pointed us to a new possible way of simplicity and compassion, where people of all ages, backgrounds, and classes have seen the love of God through this humble man. Through his actions I think he has given us tremendous insight into the ministry and vision of Jesus. And this last week he went into Jerusalem, a holy city, but a terribly divided city because of religious and racial tensions and politics. His trip in some ways faced an impossible dilemma: he can't change things. The tensions are too old, too deep, too complicated. On the other hand, he couldn't just ignore it, doing nothing.  He did the only think he could do, point to the Kingdom of God, and in so doing showed us a glimpse of the kingdom of God.

What did he do? For one, he met with the Patriarch of the Orthodox churches and embraced him. These churches have been divided for centuries, and his meeting was a big step forward to bridging the two churches. Two, he traveled with a Jewish rabbi and a muslim leader to holy places for each of the religions and they all prayed together, and at the end of the trip in Jerusalem they all embraced. A powerful sign of the need and possibility of the three Abrahamic religions to live in peace. Three, when meeting with Muslim leaders, he called them not friends, but brothers. Fourth, he prayed both at the wall separating Jews and Palestinians and at the wall commemorating victims of terroism. Fifth, he invited the president of Israel and the president of the Palestinian authority to come to Rome to pray with him for peace, and they agreed. Gestures only perhaps. But gestures mean something. They point to something; and what Francis was pointing to was the spirit of the Kingdom of God. And in my mind it was beautiful to see.

The reason it is beautiful is because in these gestures I think we are seeing a glimpse of the character of God. And this glimpse is what we call glory. The glory of God. You are probably most familiar with this term from the hymn that we sing/ say at the liturgy every week. 'Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of Hosts. Heaven and earth are full of your glory." One of the most beautiful lines in our liturgy, the idea being that in creation we see something of God. And that is ultimately what Glory is about.

I have to confess that I used to be a little leary of the idea of Glory. The scriptures tell us that God does all things for his glory, and I have to confess that I thought that sort of made God seem like a great egoist! That he was so full of himself, that he had to create people just to tell him how wonderful he was. I have learned since then that this is not quite correct. That something else is going on can be seen in the Gospel this morning. In the reading from John, Jesus' students hear him pray: "Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that your Son may glorify you." The line doesn't seem particularly odd until you realize that Jesus is praying this right before he is arrested and executed on the cross. The glory that Jesus is talking about is the humiliating death that he knows he is about to undergo. As he says in a few chapters earlier, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but it if dies, it bears much fruit." This is crazy talk; a humiliating and ignominious death is the exact opposite of glory. Until you realize that this is God we are talking about. And the God that shows himself to us in Jesus turns everything upside down.

And in God's world, glory is not a beacon that shows how awesome God is; glory is the reflection of God's character into our world. And his character is marked most profoundly by sacrificial love. That is why Christian point to the cross. We say if you want to know the most important thing that there is to know about God, behold the cross, behold the place where God, out of sheer love for us, reconciled all things to himself at great cost to himself. The most important thing about God is his love, because God is love.

Why talk about glory? Because this is the whole reason for existence, and it is where we find the deepest answers to our questions. Our purpose it is glorify God. Again, this is not that we are created to massage God's ego, rather we glorify God when we show forth his character in our lives. This is the ultimate meaning of ministry. Because what is his character but love, mercy and justice? And we are at our best when we are living that in our lives as best we can, because when we do, what we are doing is reflecting God's glory into the world. It may only make a small difference now, but it points to a time when God's glory will be all and all. This is why I find the gestures of Francis so compelling. He did not change the situation in the middle east. But what he did do was point to a much different possiblility. By the beauty of his actions it was as if he cried out, stretch your imaginations; stretch your hearts. God's love is greater than all of this. Don't just give lip service, but live it in your life. You don't have to be dramatic; we don't have to be the pope. Just in a hundred and one different ways in our lives, comforting a child, helping a grieving friend, rejoicing with a fellow worker, forgiving when slighted. All of these God uses to call us to imagine something bigger; imagine the Kingdom of God.

Sermon for May 11

This morning I had an interesting assignment. I wanted to talk about baptism because we are having a baptism this morning; say something about Mother's Day, because that is today; and I wanted to talk about the Gospel this morning. I went back and forth on how to do that and decided that the best way for for me to tell you the story about my worst Holy Week ever. (Not at this church.) Holy Week for those who don't know is one of the busiest times at the church. We had services every day Wednesday through Sunday, including an all night prayer vigil on Thursday night. Normally, it is my favourite time of the year. We follow the tragedy of Jesus' final week; every service helps us to meditate and enter more fully into one part of the story. When done well, it is a powerful spiritual experience. This one year it was not a powerful experience. This one year both my children had the stomach flu that same week. That week I would do a service, go home, stay up all night with a child who is scared and too young to understand why she is throwing up. I am cleaning it out of her hair, trying to contain it. Then go and do a another service. Repeat process. Do another service. That went on all week as Stephanie eventually got it as well. 

Going through the week it felt like I was doing two completely different things. On the one hand I was speaking about things like grace, love, eucharist, maudy thursday, vigil, altar, sacrifice, sin, redemption, resurrection. On the other hand I was speaking about things like flu, washing machines, clean the sheets, it's going to be okay honey, daddy's here, mop, hot water. And that is when the penny dropped and I understood something very important. They were not two different things; they were the same thing, they blended together in necessary way. At the church I brought my struggles and difficulties and thanks to Jesus and in the midst of the worshiping community I found the grace to go back home and bring the love of Christ working through me to my wife and children. The church and the house aren't separate. They are two sides of the same coin because the fundamental lesson I learned that weekend is this: The Business of Life IS the Business of the Gospel. I want to say that one more time and it is what I want you to take home with you this morning: The Business of Life IS the Business of the Gospel.

I bring it up because we are doing one of most glorious things this morning that we do in a church: we are baptizing a child into the faith of Jesus Christ. And it is such a joy to do exactly that. And baptism can seem so exalted, and it is exalted. It is a powerful experience. It looks like only a little water is being poured over a baby's head. But God has chosen to take that water and give it a spiritual significance that is hard to over estimate. What is baptism? It is uniting this child with Christ and his body the church; it is entry into the New Covenant with God; it is a sign of new life, a participation in the death and resurrection of Jesus; it is conversion and cleansing; it is receiving the Holy Spirit; it is a sign of the coming of the Kingdom of God. How exalted is that! And it is good to meditate on these deep truths.

But the problem is that the words we use to describe baptism are not the same words we normally use in our lives: dinner, washing maching, work, cell phone, Google, taxes, coffee, sleep, exercise, Ukraine, Nigeria, vacation, and television. Because of this there seems to be a disconnect between baptism and life and what I learned that Holy Week is that this not true. Why? Because all those fancy words to describe baptism come down to this truth: God is for you; God is with you. This is the bedrock, foundational truth. Baptism is the church's declaration that you are never alone; that you carry Christ with you and Christ will carry you.

At the end of the baptism I will mark Keaton's forehead with oil and I will say, I sign you with the cross and I mark you as Christ's own forever. For me, that is a powerful moment because it means for me that Jesus Christ, who is the face of the God who is love, will walk with this child forever. Now he may or may not embrace this fact; he may or may not even realize but it is true. And what this means for me in light of that Holy Week is two fold. First, Christ supports me in my daily life no matter how busy or dreary or even tragic it may be. And second, that I am bring the grace of Christ to my everyday life. When I am doing laundry, I am not just doing laundry; I am doing ministry. When I am washing my dishes, I am doing ministry. I don't have to go far away or do crazy things to do ministry. Baptism tells me when I am cleaning up my daughter after she is sick that I am doing ministry, because in that action I am trying to bring the grace of Christ.

Baptism says, don't feel guilty because you are not doing more stuff. The business of life IS the business of the Gospel. Baptism is not about doing more; it is about being changed so that you bring Christ to what you are already doing. Our everyday life does not change after baptism. We still have to go to work, clean our house, care for loved ones and buy groceries. What changes is how we come about all of those things, so that in Jesus, we do them with a new spirit. And it is that new spirit that makes all of the difference. Because now you are doing all of these things with Christ.

How does this work? The logic of baptism is simple. Through water and the Holy Spirit, Keaton will be united with God at the deepest level of his soul. This is a gift from God, but it is also God's hope and desire for this child. This is the whole meaning of the Christian faith and the ultimate meaning of our lives. We were created to be united with God, and in baptism we are both instantly changed and slowly changed. Instantly changed because we are bound to God in a bond that will never break. In other words, God's love for us is eternal and does not change. We can always turn to it and trust it. And God's love has power as well. It changes us slowly as we open ourselves to this love, trust it and live into it. This love that changes us is called grace and it points to our essential identity is in Christ, and that now we bear Christ in all we do. 

And this essential reality is ourselves is expressed in what St. Paul calls the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, self-control, courage. Now how many of you laughed when I read that list? Why is that? Because we realize that the spirit of baptism is messy. There is the promise of new life, but it is quite mushed together with the old life. I stand here and confess that I am a selfish man who is prone to laziness, frustration, and impatience. I am not the epitome of all those good attributes. How do I understand this truth in the reality of my experience? The hard truth of the matter I know is that spiritual growth takes time. As Rowan Williams writes, "The one thing we are truly awful at is taking time, or understanding that some outcomes, some processes, just take the time they take - that you can't rush the business of growing." So I need a few things. The first thing I need is patience and to realize that if God is happy that I am an ongoing project, then I need to kind to myself and accept the fact that my faults will not be burned away quickly. Second, I need to remember the promise of hope. Baptism promises that I will be purified and that in eternity I will filled with love and joy, and my life now is preparation for eternity. I will see God face to face. But for now I need to be intentional. I have come to think that this may be one of the most crucial of all the spiritual virtues. I don't need to be brilliant, wise, or holy. But I do need to show up. Regularly. Preferably everyday. Just before the baptism, we read what is called the Baptismal covenant. And it is a profound statement of what we believe and what the life of a Christian looks like. (BAPTISMAL CONVENANT)  

I think this profound, but with the very important reminder that baptism does not take us out of our lives. The business of life is the business of the Gospel. Imagine how life changes if we can bring Christ into the midst of it. If we can be Christ-bearers in the midst of messy life. It is actually far more than just living a more moral life. I want to end with one image to twig your imaginations. One of the places I really want to go someday is Japan; on my bucket list is to participate in a Japanese tea ceremony. I have read about it quite a bit out of fascination and seen it in videos, but that is not the same as participating. What I love about the tea ceremony is that it takes a very simple activity: making and drinking a cup of tea. Something many of us do everyday. They take this everyday activity and make it into an art form. But they don't do it by bringing out the gold kettle or the fanciest dishes. In fact, it is the opposite. The tea house is austere in its simplicity. They use worn and well used utensils. All who sit at the table have removed marks of rank and all are equal. It is not rushed, but every movement is deliberate and beautiful. The point is that taking what we do everyday and taking it away from the stress of everyday life and doing it deliberately reminds us that the everyday things that we do are beautiful. The mundane act of drinking a cup of tea becomes a doorway into the divine. I think baptism does something very similar. We are invited to see the world as God's world; a grace drenched world; what would it look like to see Christ in every activity? Could dishes be beautiful? Could laundry be beautiful? Can the mundane be beautiful? Can we love the place where we are? I think baptism says yes. Christ in the church; Christ in our homes; Christ at work. Ultimately, it is all the same. God is for you; God is with you.

Sermon for May 4th: Being a Christ-bearer

I hope that if you have listened to me preach a few sermons you realize that they are my way of carrying on a conversation with you, with myself, and with God. My sermons are one of my main ways to process in my own heart and mind the power of the Gospel, my own terrible inadequacies, my love for the church, the pain I feel about a suffering world, my own questions, the questions people bring to me, my hopes for community and my own bungling attempts to live out the glory of God in the world. Often the sermon I preach today flows out of questions raised by people from the last one. And this next set of sermons does just that. I really enjoyed the last series on spirituality. It really helped me and I was encouraged that a few of you found helpful things in them as well. Also, just so that you know, I am trying to figure out both how to preach but also make this a better conversation. So you can come talk to me, and many of you do. And I can't tell you how much I enjoy those conversations. But also I have started posting the whole sermon on my blog and linking it to our facebook page. So on either place if you want to read, comment, even criticize and challenge (as long as it is charitable) please do so!

The last group of sermons was on spirituality and spiritual growth by focusing on the Word of God. My next group of sermons will look at the reason why we practice spirituality and why we try to grow spiritually. And the reason comes from a ancient Christian legend of a man named Reprobus. He was a giant of a man who served his local king. One day he got the idea that he wanted to only serve the greatest king in the world so he went and found him and served him. But one day at the mention of the devil the king crossed himself in fear. Reprobus thought if this king is afraid of the devil than the devil must be greater. I will serve him. So he found the devil who was at that time leading a gang of theives and murderers and pledged his service. But one day as they were walking along, they came to a cross and the devil flinched away from it. Reprobus concluded that if the devil feared Christ, than Christ must be the greatest. So he searched for Christ when he met an old hermit who suggested that he devote his time to prayer and because he was so big helping people cross the river where the hermit lived. That service would be pleasing to Christ. So Reprobus spent his days putting people on his shoulders and walking them across the river. Until one day a little boy came and asked to cross. Reprobus put him on his shoulders and started to carry him across until the boy became heavier and heavier and as he was about to go under he called to the boy on his shoulders: ""You have put me in the greatest danger. I do not think the whole world could have been as heavy on my shoulders as you were." The child replied: "You had on your shoulders not only the whole world but Him who made it. I am Christ your king, whom you are serving by this work. Your name will now be Christopher because you are bearing the Christ" The child then vanished. And from that time, St. Christopher, which means the Christ-bearer went into the world bring Christ with him in his acts of mercy and service and his proclamation of the good news.

I tell this story because even though it is a legend it gets at why I fell in love with the Christian faith. I wanted to be a Christopher, a Christ bearer. I think we all want to leave the world a little better than if we had never lived. It can be heroic perhaps like Mother Theresa, but for most of us it will be smaller, like make a good home for our family so they can be.  I say seemingly, because small and big don't apply to God. As Michael Ramsey said, "The glory of Christianity is its claim that small things really matter and that the small company, the very few, the one man or woman, the one child are of infinte worth to God. Let that be your inspiration." The vision is clear. If you are like me, you see the pain and suffering of the global world; the struggle of our neighbours, good people who struggle; the struggles of people who are harder to love but who need help. What happens when Christ comes into the midst of it? I think profound things. Healing. Grace. There is a part to the prayer of St. Francis that speaks to me:

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is error, truth;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

But as we all know, trying to be light in the darkness can be a hard slog. It can be discouraging, take our energy, be thankless, see no results, the problems are bigger than the resources and so on. How do we continue to be salt to the world day after day, month after month, year after year, decade after decade? This is what spirituality is all about. Spirituality gives us the foundation and daily renewal that we need to be Christ-bearers. As I said in an earlier sermon: Jesus has a mission, and we are his hands. And to bear him out into the world, we need him in our souls. Because ultimately it is not our strength that makes this possible, but his. That is the spirituality question. How do we get him into us in a way that is sustaining and enlivening. In these next four sermons, I want to look at what it means to be a Christ-bearer. This one is a brief introductory look at the Eucharist. Next week will be about how baptism starts us on this path and nourishes us on the way. The third is about our ultimate goal. It is a topic neglected in Anglican churches: the glory of God. And it is not what you think. It is not about God being egotistical and needing us to tell him how awesome he is. It is something that is so beautiful I hope that it will move you. And finally in the fourth, what ultimately drives us and keeps us going, namely the Holy Spirit. I am excited about this. The theme has a special resonance for me.

This morning I want to talk about Eucharist. The reason is because as with any endeavor, in order to sustain yourself over the long haul you have to eat. That is so obvious and necessary that I am guessing that you never ever put it on your list of things to do today. Do the laundry, pick up the groceries, drop off the library book, eat, go swimming. Eating you don't put on the list because it is so basic to keeping you going so you can do everything else. The Eucharist is so basic to our spiritual nourishment because it is one of the primary ways that we get the Gospel inside of us. 

To see why that is and how that might work I want to look briefly at the Gospel story we read this morning. This is one of my favourite stories in the Gospel and I know for many others. It takes place on a road with two people who are walking out of Jerusalem toward the town of Emmaus. They are dejected because they had been followers of Jesus who had just been arrested and executed. They are talking about this when they are joined by a stranger on the road they don't recognize. He asks them what they are talking about, and they are amazed that this man has no idea what they are talking about. So they tell him about Jesus, and how they had hoped that he would be the one chosen by God to redeem Israel. But that obviously wasn't going to happen now. They this stranger amazes them by starting to explain the scriptures to them. He goes through all of salvation history. Now this is just an ordinary bible study, as he is talking they later will describe that their hearts were on fire. The words of scripture take on a new meaning; they see how God is using all of this to bring about his great plan of healing for the whole world, and how the scriptures told that the Messiah must first suffer and through this, then enter into glory. There was no need to be afraid.

At this point in the story they stopped for the evening for a meal at an inn and invited the stranger to join them. Strangely, it is the stranger who takes the break, and offers the blessing. Then he broke it and gave it to the other two. And when he did it, they finally got who it was that had been speaking to them this whole time. It was none other than the risen Jesus. And then he is inexplicably gone. And they can't finish the meal. They rush back all the way to Jerusalem to tell the other disciples what just happened and the real adventure begins. Jesus is the one who will bring life to this world; it is all about Jesus.

You can read this story a number of different way and get so much spiritual nourishment from it, but for the sermon today I want to look at it in the way that it sets up the basic way that we come together every Sunday morning. As you see in the story, there is a progression like our Sunday worship, we go from Word to Sacrament. And also we see in the story this is no accident. Luke is showing that this is going to be the way that it is done in the church because the actions of Jesus around the bread are exactly parallel to his actions at the last supper. He takes the bread, blesses, breaks and gives. In other words, each Sunday service is supposed to be our own Emmaus road where we come to encounter Jesus. How can we do that? I want to say three quick things about that.

First, Jesus explained the scriptures to the two, and their hearts burned within them. The learning was not just academic, but transforming. This is the way we try to listen to the scriptures in our worship This is the the learning part of the service. The reason we read scripture every Sunday is that we learn more and more about who Jesus is. Calvin tells us that we read scripture in order "to know Jesus Christ truly." Barth tells us: From first to last, the Bible directs us to the name of Jesus Christ." In order to bring Christ in the world, we first have to know Christ better. His character, who he was, how he would treat the person in front of him. But knowledge not just in our minds, but in our hearts. To bring Christ, we have to slowly become like Christ. That is why we read the scriptures. 

Second, when Jesus broke the bread they recognized him. Jesus has taken this physical stuff: bread and wine. And given them a new spiritual meaning. A transformation. There is a reason they recognized Jesus when he broke the bread. Jesus meets us here at the altar rail. It is intimate and person; it is God renewing our deepest self, giving us a glimpse of wholeness once again. If we want to be Christ-bearers, we have to let Christ feed us. That is why we break the break together. 

Third, After Cleopas and his companion encountered Jesus they sprinted to Jerusalem, and so their adventure started. They became Christ-bearers bringing a good news of a God that is love and by grace meets us in Jesus and who works for the building of his kingdom. Down the line have been generation after generation of Christ-bearers. It is a centuries old family that God has called to be part of the church, and each person who become part of that family is given a special grace that marks that person as Christ's own forever. A grace that forms them their whole life long as Christ-bearers. The grace is called baptism and that is what we will look at next week. Amen.

Sermon from April 27: You don't have to fear doubt

Awhile back, I had a conversation with my children about growing up. At night I usually carry Sarah up the stairs, and one night I mentioned to her that one day she was going to get too big for me to carry her up the stairs. Well, she didn't like that one bit. She wanted to remain little! But it did lead to an interesting conversation about when people do stop growing. I said that it was around the time they were a late teenager. After that they wouldn't grow anymore, but just be that height for the rest of their lives. But I was quick to add, that one of the interesting things that sets apart from the animals is that even though we reach physical maturity at that time, we don't stop growing inside. We keep growing emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. In fact, that was one of our defining characteristics as people. I think she was a little perplexed. Don't you learn everything? Don't you finish school? The answer of course is no, you don't. There is always more to learn and figure out and experience and explore. That is one of the great things about life.  If we choose, we can continue to explore for the rest of our lives.

Over the last several weeks we have been talking about aspects of spiritual growth: meditative reading of scripture, discipleship, prayer and so on. Today I want to talk about a little appreciated catalyst for spiritual growth, but one I think we all struggle with, I am speaking of doubt. It is little appreciated because it seems to be the opposite of spiritual growth, the opposite of faith. In fact, some places of scripture seem to support this. We look at the letter of James where James writes: Ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. It seems very simple. But there are other places where doubt is much more complex. Abraham, who is the father of faith, trusts God, but doubts whether it will work out like God suggests. And one of my favourite verses where Jesus says he will heal the one who believes, and the man cries out "I believe, but help my unbelief."

I think that this is an incredibly important topic. I speak with lots of Christians in all seasons of life and used to be surprised when after a little while of conversation people would take on a quiet air of confession. There are things that I struggle with, things that I doubt. Now, it can be intellectual doubts: I don't really understand or know if I believe that Jesus is the son of God. Or it can be doubts because of sickness or suffering: I don't know if God is really with me. Or it can be around fear: I don't know if I can do X. I don't know if I have what it takes. And they think there is something wrong with their faith. But I have learned, there is nothing wrong with their faith. In fact, for many of us, sometimes I wonder if all of us, doubt is actually part of spiritual growth. What do I mean?

To think through this I want to look at the story of Thomas this morning from the Gospel reading. I love the apostle Thomas and not just because I am the rector of this church! I really think he gets a bad rap getting called doubting Thomas. For three reasons. First, from the other stories in the gospels we know Thomas to be a stand up guy. He is loyal, passionate and brave, willing to give his life for his friends. Second, while yes he doesn't believe right away because he doesn't see, it always gets missed that he is only asking for what all of the other disciples got. An encounter with the risen Jesus. They saw; they touched. But we don't hold it against them! And third, and this is the real point I am trying to make. Thomas is an integral part of this story so that we, those who come after and who do not encounter the risen Jesus physically, can understand what it means to believe and have faith. The Gospel writer John, knows that the figure of Thomas doubting is essential for us who struggle for belief.

Remember what I said last week. The author of the Gospel, John, is a poet. The stories are a surface meaning, but they are part of a deeper purpose which he gives us in vs. 30 and 31. Here he tells us that there are lots of different things that Jesus did  that aren't written here. In the next chapter he expands on this in one of my favourite verses in the bible: If they were all written down, I suppose the whole world could not contain the books that would be written. The point is that all of all this material he chose this particular story because we needed to hear it. Why? Because we who come after are in the same position as Thomas. We have not encountered the risen Christ physically. The only way we can unite with him is through faith. So John walks us through what this looks like: Thomas hears, but doesn't believe. Most crucially, what he doesn't believe is the testimony of his friends. He thinks they are hallucinating. Then he sees and touches Jesus and believes in a big way. And then he tells others. He can now say, I know it can be hard to believe, but let me tell you my story. Thomas is in fact the crucial link for many of us who want to believe but find it hard.

I was one of those. I think I have told you some of my story before. I had not been a Christian through school; in fact, was quite antagonistic to the church. Then I met a good friend who was very authentic as a Christian, and in our conversations he made me realize some truths about myself that I didn't want to admit. As one pastor has written, the truth will set us free, but for awhile it can be a very unpleasant experience!* But I still couldn't quite step over the line. And this lasted for awhile. Until I learned an important thing about doubt: Doubt is not a no; it is standing between yes and no. Let me say that again: Doubt is not a no; it is standing between yes and no. It is an in between position. It is not being able to answer either way. It is possible to stay here. But what I found is that it is also possible to step out in faith. To decide to move forward. For me, I had fallen in love with Jesus. I loved his message of hope and grace. I loved his vision of a new creation marked by love and justice. I loved his promise of forgiveness and a second chance, and a third chance, and a fourth chance. I found the story of death and resurrection so powerful. I loved the idea that his spirit would dwell within me guiding me and strengthening me.I was so pulled; I wanted Jesus. But was it all real or just the most profound story ever told? And I went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. And I did this for months. Then I realized that this was similar to getting married I suppose. Will this work out; will we be faithful; will we make it over the long run? Questions that cannot be answered before hand. You have to make the decision first, and then live into it. That is what I came to the conclusion. I didn't have to have answers to all of the fiddly details or really understand or believe all of the beliefs that the church has come up with over the years. But I did have enough to want to say yes. So I made the decision to say yes. 

And it was not: and he lived happily ever after. I have spent my whole Christian life wrestling, but I have learned that this forced me to grow in ways that I never would have otherwise. Because if you do a lot of wrestling, you only get stronger and better. This is what I have learned. There are different kinds of doubt, and all of them can be put to good use. The first for instance is the most obvious kind, intellectual doubt. Jesus asks us to believe and we find it hard. Or for some, I believe Jesus; I just don't know if I believe everything the church has come up with. My advise if you struggle with this is not to deny it. Wrestle. Move forward. Ask your questions. Look through the scriptures. Read the history and how other Christians have answered your questions. Sit with the answers; meditate on them. Just keep moving forward. You will grow through the process. You may not land where you intended. I have found that processes have a way of going in odd directions. Also, be honest. Why do you doubt? What are your emotional reasons as well? Where have you been hurt? Don't keep it on just an intellectual level. Listen to your mind and your heart. Search for truth. I believe God will honour this seeking. For he says, seek and you will find.

But there is also another kind of doubt; the doubt of abandonment. This is with people who do believe and trust in God, but in difficult times find that they have no sense of his presence or love. The don't doubt his truths, they doubt that he really cares or loves. I have also struggled with this. But I have found a helpful wisdom about this in the book I use as a prayer book. The writer gives us a helpful concept that our God is a seasonal God. Here is what he writes:

I have observed through the years that most Christians have little understanding of the word season. Our Lord is a seasonal God; he comes, he departs. His faithfulness never changes, but his seasons do! There are seasons when the tree is green there are seasons when it is dry, and seasons when, for the life of us, the things looks dead. No does this mean you are serving some capricious God who comes and goes by whim? Or, could it be, that it is only through seasons that true growth may come?

I think this is the right answer. I have found that it is easy to be faithful when all is well; but I don't grow as strong as when I learn what being faithful looks like when things are hard. I think God doesn't so much want us to feel spiritually happy as he does that we are spiritually strong.

Another kind of doubt is fear. It is no accident that Jesus has to keep saying, don't be afraid. Most of us struggle with fear of some kind. Something we don't want to do, or don't think we can. Something we have done and don't want people to know. Being overwhelmed and not sure we will ever dig out. This is perhaps the biggest invitation to growth; at least it has been for me. Because the fact is, God has a habit of asking people to do things that are scary to them. As John Ortburg puts it, God often calls us to follow Peter and get out of the boat and walk on the water. The boat is of course what is comfortable, and the water is our fear. But if we get out, we are changed. As Ortburg puts it, "There is always a changed life. Those who say yes to God's call don't walk the walk perfectly. But because they say yes to God, they learn and grow even from their failures. And they become part of his actions to redeem the world. Those who say no are changed too. They become a little harder, a little more resistant to his calling, a little more likely to say no the next time." 

And from this perspective, we can see why doubt is important for growth. It is a catalyst that can propel us forward if we choose to move forward. The point is ultimately not belief, or answers or the feeling of God's love or even courage. All of these are means to an end. As John the writer puts it, reflecting on Thomas' experience. These things are written, so that by believing, or better through believing, YOU MAY HAVE LIFE. The point is life, fullness of life, eternal life. When you are in Jasper on the top of a mountain, and the scenery is so beautiful, and you are exilerated from your climb, and the air is so fresh and you are so alive, awake, joyous. You don't ask philosophical questions. You just live, fully. 

In our lives, we are not yet on the mountain, we are walking still through the woods on the way. We will get there, but not yet. There is a ways to go. Love where you are; learn from this walk; grow stronger in wisdom, love and character. Jesus is with you. Do not be afraid of doubt. Keep moving forward. Keep moving forward. You are on the way to life eternal.

* Reference was to Rick Warren

Easter Sermon for St. Thomas

Sermon:

Alleluia! The Lord is risen! The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!

A blessed Easter to you all; it is great to worship together on this greatest

of all days: the day we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead

and the fact that we are reconciled with God.

And it is also good news because it puts to rest the false and guilt inducing idea

that we are made right with God by pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps and

then being rewarded by God because of how awesome we are. And this how religious

faith is seen. We see it in stories and jokes. Here is one of my favourites:

There is a story about a guy who went to heaven. He appeared before the pearly gates

and meets St. Peter who asks him, "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?"

"Well, I can think of one thing, the man offers. Once I came upon a gang of tough

bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but

they wouldn't listen. So I approached the biggest and most heavily tattooed biker.

I hit him in the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it to

the ground, and told him, Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me!

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"About two minutes ago."

It is funny, but it is false. We don't have to impress St. Peter or God. Jesus has done

ALL of the heavy lifting, given us new life and new hope and this is the reason that

we are celebrating this morning. Jesus has started something new and invited us to

be a part of what HE is doing. This morning I want you to look at Resurrection

in a different way.

I want you to see it through the eyes of a gardener. I am guessing that many of you

are gardeners, as a matter of fact I am hoping that many of you are, 4

and that you are looking forward to putting in your garden this year.

It has truly been a long, long winter. The ground has been frozen like bands of

iron with snow covering it.

But now the snow has melted and the ground is thawing and there is a change coming.

I am looking forward to it this year. I am not much of a gardener, and didn't get one in

in time last year. But this year I want to try again, because I enjoy the fresh veggies.

Soon I will dig in the ground and put in my tomatoes and my zucchinis; stuff that is

hard to kill. I will put some flowers, and I know my kids will really enjoy getting out

and digging and making a mess.

One of the things about my kids is that I had to explain to them when they were young

that it takes time for things to grow. Yes, nothing is happening, and yes, it is a little boring

for awhile. But have some patience. There is something happening; you just can't see it!

And then it starts to come, but lots of other things come out as well! Weeds! And so there

is an intense time of keeping out the weeds. Getting rid of them and protecting the fragile

plants. And then come the fullness of the garden and with enough time. The reward, the fruit.

You know when I grew up I hated tomatoes. I didn't like them on anything. And when people

offered me their tomatoes from their gardens I graciously said no. But then I ate one out of

politeness. Oh my goodness!! It was so good, and rich. I couldn't believe it. I had only been

eating store bought tomatoes and not had the real thing. Now I cannot wait. I love the late summer.

Now if you are wondering if I have gotten off on a tangent with the garden, I actually haven't

because our gardens in our backyards are a great way to understand what is going on with

the Gospel that we are celebrating this morning.

It comes from a line that often gets missed in the gospel reading for this morning. It is

when Mary Madelene comes out of the empty tomb; she is weeping and she sees a man

standing there. And the line reads, "Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, 'Sir

if you have carried Jesus away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.'

"Supposing him to be the gardener." In one sense, that is just a throw away line. She

meets someone who she thinks just works there, and in that sense, she is wrong. The

man doesn't just work there. But in another sense, it is not a throw away comment, because

the author of the gospel is an artist, and this little word gardener packs a tremendous importance:

because the risen Christ is indeed the Master Gardener and this image helps us make sense of the power

of this day, and its deeper meaning. The meaning is this:

It is a tie in to the first two chapters of the first book of the Bible: In the beginning God created the heavens

and the earth; and what did he create: a garden. A rich and beautiful symbol of a deep primal unity

between humanity, nature and God. It is for us the ultimate symbol of God's vision where humanity, creation

and God live together in a deep harmony.

Obviously, reading the paper and listening to people's stories that is not our natural state now. We were

made in the image of God. But doesn't it seem that this image has been broken. We are

deeply alienated from nature and from God. And this is the story of scripture. But the bible again and again

comes back to this vision of Eden as a sign of God's desire to heal us and to heal the world. From

Isaiah we read:

For the Lord will comfort Zion;

he will comfort all her waste places,

and will make her wilderness like Eden,

her desert like the garden of the Lord;

joy and gladness will be found in her,

thanksgiving and the voice of song.

And from the prophet Jeremiah we read:

They shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion,

and they shall be radiant over the goodness of the Lord,

over the grain, the wine, and the oil,

and over the young of the flock and the herd;

their life shall become like a watered garden,

and they shall never languish again.

In the Greek translation of the Old Testament, the garden of Eden was translated

by the word paradise. And we see this word in the new testament giving a vision

of hope for what God intends in his great act of healing, salvation:

Paul talks about being caught up in paradise, the book of Revelation talks about

the one who conquers being given permission to eat from the tree of life in paradise.

And on the cross Jesus refers to it promising one of the thieves crucified with him

that this day he will be in paradise.

Why am I following this train of thought? Because in supposing Jesus to be the

gardener, the poet John the Evangelist is telling us that Jesus is the Master Gardener

and his Resurrection is the beginning of the creation of the new Garden of Eden.

In fact, we could read the story of the Resurrection of Jesus as saying:

In the NEW beginning, God RE-CREATED the heavens and the earth. But like

the first garden, this was not an instantaneous event; it is a long process. Much like

my own garden. It takes time and effort and faith.

And the point of the new creation is that new creation is you. Your heart. Your

heart is the garden. Paul tells us this amazing truth:

if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away;

see, everything has become new!

You are the reason for the resurrection of Jesus.

This is the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is the point of this day.

He wants to renew your life, my life,

the life of the world, the life of creation To give us the grace, the tools that we need to put to death all

within us that keeps us from fullness of life, and that we wrestle with: bad temper, selfishness,

the constant feeling that we never have enough, laziness, jealousy. And all in the greater world

that needs healing: greed, war, human trafficking, exploitation, and so on. And we pause on

this day, especially today to remember the pain and suffering of humanity: the violence in Syria, Iraq,

Ukraine, the refugees around the world, the hunger, the poor, the grieving, and we hold them all

up before God, in the light of the hope of resurrection, of a new world.

The gospel is a vision about a renewed heart and a renewed world. Jesus is bringing life back to the world.

As Karl Barth wrote, our faith is that the Spirit "will not stop nor stay until all that is dead has

 been brought to life and a new world has come into being." Our hearts are renewed back

to the image of God to grow in the virtues of love, courage, joy, patience, generosity, inner

strength, committment and peace. And then we answer God's call to live in this broken world

as agents of Resurrection. We live a new vision of hope and love in a broken world, and Christ

gives us the courage to do it. We are the hands of Christ in the world, but it is his project.

This is the Christian vision.

And it all centers around Jesus. For he is the Son of God, the one chosen to make this possible through

his death and resurrection. The church has always taught that he is alive, and that he invites us

into personal relationship. Be a part of Easter; be a part of the Resurrection.

Let it change you. Don't let Easter go by without going deeper. Use the chance to recommit yourself to God in Jesus.

Because Easter is always about new beginnings.

For we know now that

Love is stronger than hatred.

Hope is stronger than despair.

Life is stronger than death.

And nothing is impossible with God.

Alleluia! The Lord is risen! The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia.

Jesus and Human Flourishing

One of the questions I have enjoyed engaging is the purpose of the Christian spiritual life in relationship to the question of human flourishing. When I think of human flourishing I think of things that help people become more fully alive. This question started for me years ago when I read Steinbeck's East of Eden and his description of the Glory struck me deeply.He writes, (and please excuse the gendered language):

“Sometimes a kind of glory lights up the mind of a man. It happens to nearly everyone. You can feel it growing or preparing like a fuse burning toward dynamite. It is a feeling in the stomach, a delight of the nerves, of the forearms. The skin tastes the air, and every deep-drawn breath is sweet. Its beginning has the pleasure of a great stretching yawn; it flashes in the brain and the whole world glows outside your eyes. A man may have lived all of his life in the gray, and the land and trees of him dark and somber. The events, even the important ones, may have trooped by faceless and pale. And then -the glory- so that a cricket song sweetens his ears, the smell of the earth rises chanting to his nose, and dappling light under a tree blesses his eyes. Then a man pours outward, a torrent of him, and yet he is not diminished. And I guess a man's importance in the world can be measured by the quality and number of his glories. It is a lonely thing but it relates us to the world. It is the mother of all creativeness, and it sets each man separate from all other men. ”

Of course, this is not an everyday experience. But I am thinking of any activity that we don't want to end. Like a dinner with good friends where you don't notice the times, or walking on the beach in the morning and all seems well, playing with kids in the backyard, the enjoyment of a great ice cream cone, or even a worship service where all the pieces just cohere beautifully and you find yourself so powerfully in the presence of God.

I am wondering how Christian spirituality speaks to this? Is this the goal of being a Christian? I don't know the answer yet, but here are somethings that have to be considered:

1) It can't be an end in itself. If flourishing is a selfish desire for personal fulfillment, than it can't be the goal of Christian life.

2) Christian prayer actually claims that part of flourishing is to die to self.

3) The Christian spiritual life seems to imply that as we slowly remove the sin in our heart, we naturally flourish more and more. In other words, flourishing is our natural condition; sin holds us back.

4) Jesus talked about bringing life, life to the full.

5) The experience of human flourishing has to point beyond ourselves to God.

6) Christian prayer assumes that we need Jesus to get past the sin in order to flourish.

7) Christian prayer puts us regularly in a place to receive the grace of Jesus.

8) Human flourishing takes place in Christian community.

9) Human flourishing also require times of solitude.

10) Human flourishing is a life long process of growth and maturity.

11) Human flourishing doesn't just mean happy. Part of it is wrestling with the hard parts of life.

12)

I will add more as I think of them.

Reflections on Soup'd Up: Join the Resolution!

Every year I am one of those who is seduced yet again by the allure of New Year’s resolutions. Because yes, I do want to lose weight, read more books, be nicer, worry less, be a better father, be less selfish, run a marathon and learn to sail. Goodness! Looking at the list I see why I never quite make it. And yet I really want all those things. 

Last night at Soup’d Up we had a great conversation about resolutions and what they mean. We started with a scripture reading from 2 Corinthians. This is the famous one that reminds us that if we are in Christ then we are a new creation. We also watched the Rob Bell video in which he reminds us about the fact that life comes from death. Talking about his wife’s awesome salsa, he reflected that for us to get nourishment the tomato in the salsa had to die. And there is a law here, that life comes from death. Of course, the ultimate expression of that is the fact that Jesus died for us to bring life. 

It puts resolutions into perspective. At my table, I reflected that part of spiritual growth for me is that when I know that I centred in prayer on God in my life I am far less reactive. I am able to handle difficulties and do things that I wouldn’t ordinarily do. It is because I am living in grace that I find the strength to do what I am wanting. And of course the scripture reminds me, what I really want is not to lose weight, but to be a new creation. How about you? What do you want?